


Unexpected

by Microsoftgirl24



Category: His Dark Materials (TV), His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman, The Book of Dust - Philip Pullman, The Golden Compass (2007)
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, Child Abandonment, Domestic Fluff, Family Drama, Family Issues, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Parenthood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:01:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24045571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Microsoftgirl24/pseuds/Microsoftgirl24
Summary: Marisa Coulter was a growing influential figure within the magisterium still building her reputation back up from ruin. She gets an unexpected surprise. When a familiar five-year-old little girl appears at her flat in London, with only a backpack and a letter. After five years since she had seen her last, things get chaotic as she now is stuck having to watch and take care of her five-year-old daughter suddenly for two months. Marisa needs to figure things out and face her past, as she gets to know the daughter she left behind. Experiencing what she never thought she would, being a mother.
Relationships: Lord Asriel & Lyra Belacqua, Lord Asriel/Marisa Coulter, Lyra Belacqua & Marisa Coulter
Comments: 37
Kudos: 157





	1. Arrival

It was the middle of the day near noon when Marisa was in her study looking over some paperwork from her research, she was in the middle of developing plans in order to propose her research project to the magisterium. 

All that could be heard on the penthouse floor was the grandfather clock ticking away only for it to chime out that it was now noon causing Marisa to lift her eyes from the papers in front of her as she glanced around before landing her eyes on the windows. 

It was a sunny day outside, clouds moving in the wind and as the clock chimed throughout the penthouse, loneliness crept upon her as she sighed openly before leaning back into her chair. Reaching for her thin designer watch upon her wrist, she then made moves to stand as her golden monkey stretched from being perched on the window sill avoiding her gaze. 

Most of the time her daemon would look out the windows as if longing for something. 

Marisa walked down the corridor towards the living room in order to see about obtaining some lunch prepared by her staff. As she walked, her high heels clicked upon the marble reaching halfway down the corridor there was a sudden buzzing from the lift. 

There was a guest that had arrived requesting to visit her floor, she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion as she had not been expecting any guests today. However, no matter, deducing it maybe someone from the magisterium come to visit.

Marisa waltzed over to the lift controls and pressed the button allowing the guest to travel up, as the lift rose to her floor. Marisa smoothed out her dress while gently fixing her hair before greeting the guest. 

Eventually, a ding rang out as the lift reached her floor, the doors opened gently revealing to nothing in view. Marisa saw no one inside at first glance as she looked around inside with frustration and bewilderment. 

Marisa frustrated that her time had been wasted then reached for the lift to be sent back down, however as she reached for the button to do so a small young voice implored. 

“Wait!” 

Suddenly Marisa pulled back her hand as if burned before she peered from the side of the lift entrance from the controls. Peering into the lift she was met with the sight of a little girl no older than five years in age. The girl was dressed in a red dress with white socks and mary janes, along with a rucksack on her back as if she were going to primary school.

The girl stood there with wide innocent eyes, as she looked at Marisa as if she was taking in the sight of her with slight awe before smiling softly. 

Marisa then stepped in front of the lift in full view of the girl, Marisa noted the girl looked familiar for some reason or another. 

“I’m sorry dear are you lost?”

The girl with wide eyes then noticed Marisa’s daemon who was behind the woman to her side, the girl then entered the penthouse leaving the lift behind as she approached Marisa’s daemon.

“Your daemon settled as a golden monkey?” The girl asked softly as not caring she just entered a stranger's penthouse, causing Marisa to be in slight shock at the girl not knowing how to handle a child. 

“Listen, dear, you can’t just come into a strangers' home like this. Didn't your father ever teach you that there are dangerous people out in the world?”

The girl then stepped back as she looked up at Marisa with innocent eyes, giving her a sad expression as she looked up at Marisa from their height difference. 

“Not really no” she softly spoke with a hollow tone

Marisa being frustrated and annoyed, slightly flustered at the intrusion and asked 

“Well, where is he?”

“On a Zepplin”

“On a Zepplin, well who are you here with?” Marisa asked calmly, trying to get control of the situation back, the whole ordeal was unexpected. 

“My mother”

“Well, right. You better go find her. I’m sure she is looking for you worried out of her mind” 

Marisa implored hoping that would prompt the girl to enter the lift once more and find her mother so she could get back to her work and perhaps have some lunch. 

The girl then caught Marisa’s eyes, speaking sure of herself. 

“She’s not looking for me” 

“Well, how do you know?” 

Marisa then questioned as the little girl confused her, she placed her hands upon her sides.

“Because she’s looking at me” 

Marisa’s face bore confusion as she took in the little girl’s words. 

“What?” 

Marisa asked as if she mistook the girl’s words, perhaps not hearing her clearly. 

Marisa then noticed the little girl along with her little daemon who was in the form of a white ermine on her shoulder came closer to Marisa catching her off guard. 

Looking up at Marisa the little girl spoke “Hello...we never met before…..My name is Lyra…..I’m your daughter” 

Suddenly the world felt it was on tilt as the familiar little girl's words sunk in, she felt faint as the golden monkey suddenly got closer to the little girl looking at her with sadness in her eyes before dropping to the floor along with Marisa as she then promptly fainted. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of this story is inspired by the movie The Game Plan, which I love by the way. In this first chapter, some may notice there are a couple of lines similar to the beginning of the movie, they are not carbon copies pulled from the movie; so don't @ me. Just a fan reference, it is the only thing in this story from the movie. Props to some people for noticing the easter egg ;)


	2. Questions

She felt something, no someone with a little finger poking at her face gently. Her eyes slowly open at the sight of the little girl near her face looking worried, the girl kneeled at her side as she laid upon the marble floor. 

The girl seeing Marisa slowly opening her eyes asked 

“Are you alright?” 

Marisa then waved the girl away as she slowly came to before sitting herself up from the marble floor. The golden monkey got up off the floor as he then kept his eyes upon the little girl, as Marisa placed her palms upon the marble to hold herself up as she took in the situation in front of her coming back to consciousness.

Lyra who was kneeled upon her knees next to Marisa was staring at her with some fear, worry, and nervousness. 

Marisa then got a good look at her for the first time, she examined the girl’s face noticing right away the resemblance to Asriel and to herself. 

Marisa’s eyes softened as she looked towards the floor looking away from the girl as shame, grief, and sadness took over her. Her emotions reached her, as she realizes that her daughter is in the same room with her for the first time since she had been born.

Marisa then stood up from the floor carefully, the girl rose from the floor as well not knowing what Marisa’s reaction was going to be next. 

Straightening out her dress and fixing herself she then glanced back towards Lyra who was looking at her nervously. 

“Right, why don’t we head into the living room and get this all straightened out” Marisa then gestured for the girl to follow her, by holding out her arm. 

Lyra then followed her clutching her rucksack straps as she glanced around the luxurious penthouse taking in the details noticing how fancy it all looked in comparison to Jordan College.

She noticed Marisa’s daemon staring at her and watching her every move, as she followed Marisa into the living room. 

Marisa sat down upon the couch watching Lyra just as much as her daemon was, taking in the girl still heavily in shock feeling heavy emotions on her hardened heart. 

Lyra sat across from her on the adjacent sofa, they both stared at each other in silence for a good while as Marisa tried to keep her heart rate under control and control her breathing as she tried not to have a panic attack. 

The more she looked at Lyra, she saw it. This was her daughter, her daughter that she gave to Asriel. 

Asriel and Edward fought after Edward found out about their affair, shooting him in self-defense from trying to kill Asriel and Lyra. Edward died, Asriel went to trial while Lyra had been sent to a nunnery when Asriel retrieved her and brought her to Jordan college. 

Oh yes, Marisa knew all about what happened to her child. After Asriel left her at the college, Marisa was sworn off from being near Lyra and from seeing her at all costs. While she had associates and people she knew to tell her things about the girl, she never imagined she would get to see her again with her own two eyes especially within her reach. 

Which begs a multitude of questions, why was Lyra here alone, where was Asriel, why now after keeping Lyra from her for five years does Lyra turn up at her doorstep?

As Marisa stared at Lyra, Lyra stared back at her with her arms in her lap nervously not knowing what to expect from this woman who she just met who is apparently her mother. 

Marisa noted that Lyra only appeared to have one rucksack with her and nothing else besides her and her daemon. 

“Where is your father?” Marisa asked calmly and openly, wishing to get some answers.

Lyra sighed before removing her rucksack from her back, her daemon moved to sit on the couch beside her giving Lyra room to move. 

Lyra then stood up before walking over to Marisa where she sat and reaching into her rucksack 

“He wrote you a letter” she then took out a white envelope from her rucksack before handing it to Marisa nervously who took it with careful hands. 

Marisa then stood up before going over to the living room desk table and reaching for her letter opener opening the letter as she saw out of the corner of her eye Lyra moved around the living room looking at things. 

The golden monkey eyed Lyra for Marisa as she quickly slashed the envelope open in haste frustrated at Asriel, she opened the letter before she had begun to mumble reading aloud skeptical at the situation. 

_Marisa,_

_I realize that you may find Lyra appearing into your life suddenly as a shock, I need you to watch her for two months. I have been called on an important expedition and won’t be back till then, it’s an emergency. I’ll explain everything when I return._

_-Asriel_

Marisa scoffed at the note in annoyance, of course, Asriel runs off on research claiming it as an emergency. Always leaving and neglecting his responsibilities, it appears nothing has changed. 

Lyra glanced around the living room with curiosity at all the fancy antiques, sculptures, and various artwork portraits of Marisa. 

Her daemon was at her feet following close by as curious as Lyra glancing around while turning his little head he came face to face with the golden monkey who was reaching out to touch him which made him quickly climb up Lyra before perching on her shoulder being nervous and shy to the other daemon. 

Lyra noticed the interaction as she patted her daemon holding him close shy as she looked at the golden monkey catching Marisa’s attention away from the letter. 

Lyra turned back towards the massive painted portrait of Marisa with curious eyes “You have a lot of paintings” Lyra turned towards Marisa who had been glancing at her in wonder, pulling her from her thoughts. 

“Yes, well when one has many artistic acquaintances….” 

Lyra’s eyes were getting to Marisa, the girl stared at her with those innocent eyes which made Marisa’s fester with guilt. 

“Lyra it says in your father’s letter that he will be indisposed for two months. What kind of expedition is he on that is greatly important?” 

Marisa asked, trying to get to the bottom of the matter, trying to reason how Asriel would knowingly leave the girl with her over anyone else. 

Lyra shrugged her shoulders as she rocked on her feet simply bored looking to the ground at the golden monkey.

“I don’t know”

“So on his way to make a groundbreaking important discovery, he suddenly left you in my care?”

Lyra looked up at Marisa

“He had no choice. He didn’t want to and then I asked him why and he said well Lyra, she didn’t want you and she is rather busy with her life”

Marisa's eyes then began to become moist as she listened to Lyra, so the girl knew she had given her away. It explained why Lyra was nervous around her as well as shy, the girl only knew she didn’t want her and then suddenly she was dumped at the woman who had abandoned her doorstep with only a letter and a rucksack. 

Marisa was mad, she was mad at Asriel. However, not at Lyra, she couldn’t. 

“Why didn’t he leave you at Jordan College?” 

“Master went with him on the expedition, said it was important for the college” Lyra explained the best she could, she was only five years old. 

Marisa then sighed, taking a breath as she tried to grasp at the situation at hand, she pinched the bridge of her nose still holding the letter. 

“Ma’am” 

One of the servants addressed Marisa, coming to tell her that lunch was served to which she glanced over at him remembering lunch just now. 

Marisa then turned her gaze once more towards Lyra who was playing with her shoes with one of her feet in a cute manner. 

“Lyra, would you like something to eat?” 


	3. First Moments

One of the staff served lunch for the two of them after seeing Marisa had company, it was quiet. 

Marisa couldn’t help but stare at Lyra neglecting her own food as she watched the young child eat, Lyra had this habit of holding her hand near her mouth as she chewed with her finger food. 

Lyra shifted uncomfortably under Marisa’s gaze, not knowing what to expect from the woman who looked at her in a way that her father rarely did when he thought she wasn’t looking.

Marisa had no idea what she was going to do, she didn’t know how to handle a child let alone raise one. She hadn’t had the chance to, once the trial was over Lyra was taken from the nunnery by Asriel and she never saw her after she was born until now. 

She hadn’t gotten to know her child at all, now she had her for two months. Once Asriel came back she would give him her two cents until then Lyra was the priority. 

Lyra chewed the carrots beside her untouched sandwich, having not eaten anything since early that morning when she had left Jordan.

Lyra sat low in the chair just barely reaching the right height on the table, she was a small thing captivating Marisa with a curiosity. This was the same baby that she held in her arms, who cried and she soothed. She only held her for one night. 

The girl has grown a bit since then. 

  
  


There was no denying who the little girl was, she had her nose. 

Lyra dangled her feet from the chair, she then finished the last carrot upon her plate. Looking down noticing Marisa’s eyes on her she swung her feet from the chair to fill her boredom. 

“Aren’t you hungry?” 

Marisa asked, eying the untouched sandwich upon Lyra’s plate, wondering why the girl had not touched it after she enthusiastically finished all her carrots. 

Lyra’s little eyes gazed back at her before eying the sandwich upon her plate in question. 

“I don’t like the crust”

Lyra supplied, mumbling nervous and unsure about not wanting to be rude after being taught by Dr. Carne and Charles manners. 

Marisa had not expected the girl to be picky about a feeble thing such as crust on a sandwich, Marisa not knowing what overcame her suddenly stood up from her chair before walking over to Lyra’s side.

Lyra watched her curiously not knowing what the woman was doing, Marisa reached for a knife upon the table from Lyra’s place setting before promptly cutting off the crusts of the sandwich.

“There” 

Marisa announced once she was done placing the knife back down, then Lyra smiled with a toothy adorable smile looking up at Marisa.

“Thank you” 

Suddenly Marisa felt her heart flutter with an indescribable feeling. She smiled a soft genuine smile, the first one in years.

As Lyra reached for the sandwich and silently began to eat it, Marisa had the urge to brush the girl’s hair from her face however she stopped herself. 

Marisa then retreated back to her chair on the opposite side of the table, she continued to eat alongside Lyra. 

Only glancing up when Lyra suddenly began choking upon her sandwich, which prompted Marisa to become fearful as the little girl reached her small hands for the glass of milk set out for her. 

Lyra reached for the milk with one hand, before she could even comprehend the glass slipped from her hand spilling onto the floor into a puddle while Lyra continued to choke and cough from the sandwich. 

The golden monkey sprung away in reaction to the glass shattering and the spill, Marisa was on her feet in an instant reaching Lyra. One of the staff members emerged at the sudden sound, seeing the broken glass, and the spill quickly went to clean it. 

“Lyra?” 

Marisa asked urgently as the little girl coughed, as her staff member cleaned up the spilled milk. Marisa reached for the small pitcher of milk and poured another glass for the little girl, before placing a hand upon Lyra’s back and bringing the glass to the girl’s lips.

“Small sips” 

Lyra reached one hand for the glass as she drank, however, Marisa still held it firmly for the girl to drink. Lyra finished drinking and was breathing heavily, Marisa lowered the glass from her mouth seeing she was done. 

“Are you alright?” 

Marisa asked worriedly, it was foreign. The worrying. Lyra nodded with a worried expression. 

“I’m sorry” 

Lyra spoke softly, fearful that she had angered the woman and upset her. 

Marisa placed her hand in the girl’s hair stroking it softly.   


“It was just spilled milk, nothing to worry about. It’s alright” 

She reassured the little girl, who nodded in response, her shoulders relaxing slightly. Seeing that lunch had taken a turn, leading to broken glass. Marisa eyed Lyra, noting the backpack the girl brought. 

“Right...Lyra, since you are going to be spending two months in my care I was wondering what you brought with you?”

Lyra then reached for her backpack quickly to show Marisa what was inside proudly. Lyra reached in touching the things inside, placing them on the table. 

“I have my book, journal, blan-” Lyra cut herself off, shoving something back into the bag before Marisa could see. Lyra's reaction did not go unnoticed, however, she did not ask. Marisa was more concerned with a more pressing matter as the girl didn't say anything about any clothes.

“Haven’t you brought any clothes?” 

Lyra then scrunched up her face in thought, as she realized something. 

“No” 

Marisa sighed before glancing into the living room before checking her watch. 

“We’ll have to fix that”

Marisa gathered her purse along with her coat, as she entered the lift along with Lyra close by. Reaching the lobby of her flat, they both exited the building together. They were to go down the block to the local children's clothes shop and pick up some clothes for Lyra, as they reached the sidewalk Marisa noticed the countless people out and about.

Marisa glanced at Lyra in apprehension before she lowered her hand. 

“Hold my hand and stay close Lyra” 

Marisa felt Lyra’s little hand then grip her’s unsure before she took the girl’s hand in hers properly as they began to walk. As they walked Marisa noticed how some women would look at her and Lyra, mostly other women with children themselves.

Lyra mainly looked around in awe not having been in London before, only knowing the grounds and expansive lands of Jordan college. It was an interesting sight, she noticed the shop windows mostly and the numerous people which made her let out a small crying moan of shyness as she moved as close to Marisa as she could. 

Marisa tried not to pay attention as she focused on reaching the store and achieving what they went out to do. Marisa noticed Lyra’s fascination with the window displays which contained various objects, toys, and clothes. Reaching the store, the door was held open for them as they were greeted by a sales associate. 

“Hello welcome Woodorfs, Ma’am. How could I help you today?” 

A charming lady with pearls upon her neck and red dress greeted Lyra and Marisa, Lyra smiled softly at the nice lady while Marisa got down to business. 

“Hello, Lyra here needs a complete wardrobe such as socks, undergarments, dresses, jackets, and shoes. I was wondering if we could have some assistance?” 

Marisa asked in a charming smooth voice, the lady then noticed Lyra.

The sales lady smiling leaned down to Lyra's height, having a way with children working in the store. 

“How old are you darling?” 

Lyra smiled at the lady shy, leaning close to Marisa who stood there in the interest of the lady speaking to Lyra. 

“I’m five” 

Lyra held out her free hand showing her fingers how old she is. Marisa couldn’t help but smile at Lyra as she did so before she wiped it off her face. She missed five years. 

“My goodness is that so?” she smirked at Lyra being kind, noticing the slightly protective look from Marisa the lady went to show them to the girl's clothes department.

The lady leads them upstairs to the second floor to the girl’s clothes department.

“If you follow me, Ma’am, the little girl’s department is in this direction”

The kind sales lady led them to a fitting corner, where there was a pedestal for children to stand and get measurements along with some dressing rooms behind it. 

Marisa sat upon the circle couch, next to the pedestal where the other mothers would sit. The whole ordeal with throwing her through a loop as she noticed the various other children and mothers in the shop. She was thankful no one else was near them for the time being, her golden monkey leaped up to sit beside her.

“Do you happen to know her sizes?” 

Marisa was pulled from her gaze and thoughts about the other mothers as the sales lady asked a question. 

“Pardon?” 

Marisa asks having not heard her.

“Her sizes, do you happen to know them?” 

Of course, all the other mothers would know their children’s clothes size however not Marisa. 

The thought hit her, she looked down in thought before lifting her head to the woman. 

“Unfortunately no” 

The woman seeing Marisa’s expression smiled softly “No matter, it will only take a minute to measure. Hop up her little love” the woman gestured for Lyra to go upon the pedestal which she did with a smile.

“Right let’s see, lift your arms dear” Lyra did as she was told, however, ended up getting impatient and antsy mid-way through the measurements. 

Lyra shifted from foot to foot “Hold still dear” the lady asked nicely, knowing children usually do this after waiting a bit. 

Marisa noticing Lyra fidgeting raised an eyebrow in annoyance 

“Lyra ''   


She scolded lightly in a motherly warning, causing Lyra to look over to Marisa slightly fearful. Lyra has never had a mother, did not get scolded much only by Mrs. Lonsdale, Dr. Carne, or Charles. It was foreign and she did not expect it. On top of that, Lyra hasn’t gotten to know her mother yet; they were still practically strangers.

Lyra’s eyes pierced her, which changed her expression as she was flooded with slight guilt that the girl already feared her. She had to be careful, she was reminded that the little girl knew that she had given her away. 

“Alright, now you wait here while I go fetch some clothes for you to try on” 

The lady smiled before jetting off to find said clothes leaving Lyra and Marisa.

Lyra slowly got down from the pedestal, seeing the golden monkey and Marisa sitting upon the couch Lyra opted to look around the area instead of sitting next to her. Marisa noticed this and sighed watching Lyra, her own daughter did not trust her nor know her.

Who knows what things Asriel told Lyra about her.

“Lyra stay close, we don’t want you getting lost” 

Lyra hearing her words came over to Marisa, she suddenly reached out grabbing both of Lyra’s hands into hers, grabbing the girl’s attention. 

Lyra looked up to Marisa as Marisa opened her mouth slightly as to speak before second-guessing herself and closing her mouth opting to smile softly instead. Lyra turned her gaze looking for the kind saleswoman to return.

“Lyra, I know we only just met however I want you to know. I am happy to have you with me” 

Her words made Lyra look directly at Marisa, who patted Lyra’s hands comfortingly. Lyra stared at Marisa’s face for a second or two before she smiled softly in response. 

“Really?” 

“Really” 

Marisa confirmed repeating the girl, with a soft smile. Marisa then brushed the hair from Lyra’s face for a moment seizing her to really look at Lyra’s features cataloging her face to memory. 

“Here we are” 

The sales lady broke them out of the moment, she was carrying multiple dresses and clothes along with her, setting them down upon the nearby rack next to the dressing room door a foot away. 

Afterward, Lyra tried on multiple dresses which made her frustrated since she did not always just like dresses, she liked to move around and play in her clothes. Nothing constrictive, Marisa smiled from her seat at the sight of Lyra in frilly adorable and charming dresses.

There were multiple outfits that were picked out for Lyra to wear, the sales lady slipping in some outfits Lyra preferred. Lyra then tried on a blue dress that suited her perfectly causing Marisa to gasp slightly at the sight. Lyra looked so adorable and eye-catching in the dress, Lyra looked like a mini-me of Marisa. 

Marisa stood up off the couch in interest and slight excitement, she placed her Lyra in front of her in the mirror and noticed their similarities.

“This dress is perfect, blue is certainly your color” 

Lyra smiled under Marisa’s praise, Marisa reached up to Lyra’s hair stroking it softly before letting go and turning to the saleswoman.

“We will be taking this one”

The lady nodded in response placing it with the approved outfits picked out already. Lyra continued to try on outfit after outfit, Marisa getting more involved now in choosing colors and types for Lyra. 

Eventually, there was only so much trying on that Lyra could take, she was starting to get frustrated showing some slight annoyance. The sales lady, seeing Lyra beginning to get frustrated, knowing kids, and wanting to avoid a meltdown or tantrum, quickly gathered all the dresses and outfits. The outfits included some dresses, pajamas, along with three coats.

Everything that had been requested the lady brought over to add such as socks and undergarments, Marisa picked out some hair accessories for Lyra to wear while they waited. Lyra sat up on the couch waiting, after a while the golden monkey who sat next to Lyra started to get antsy as Lyra shifted left to right on the couch uncomfortable. Marisa averted her gaze from the table of hair accessories towards her fidgeting daughter.

“Lyra?” Marisa approached Lyra who attempted to stop fidgeting however couldn’t help it. 

Lyra squirmed on the couch looking to Marisa with pleading eyes as she cried out.

“Loo”

Marisa's eyes widened as she hadn’t expected this scenario, realizing the situation she quickly grabbed Lyra’s hand seeing the sales lady return. 

“Where is the restroom?” Lyra continued to squirm holding it in, she made a soft moan in distress. 

“Over that way” 

The sales lady directed them to the corner of the floor, where the restrooms were located. Marisa walked quickly with grace towards the restrooms with Lyra clinging to her hand. Lyra was jumping a bit as she continued to hold it in, wanting to go to the restroom. 

They entered the lady's room, which contained various other women and little _girls._ Marisa brought Lyra over to the only open stall, Marisa turned to Lyra in distress.

“Are you-” 

Lyra did not leave time for Marisa to answer for she slammed the white stall door shut quickly hopping onto the loo. 

Marisa sighed in relief, thanking the authority that Lyra had been potty trained, she leaned against the stall door waiting for Lyra when suddenly she and the other woman heard a little voice begin to sing. 

“Sit in shadow long and no one hears miss kong and then one lemon lump sand-fly sandy cake sailing in clay uh”

Then it went silent, all the mothers in the bathroom were looking at the stall Lyra was in, and at Marisa who melted under the little girl singing the song incorrectly, she was also slightly embarrassed. All the mothers had soft eyes and their hearts melted at the cute song the little one sang, it must have been a song to help when the girl was potty trained. 

  
  


Marisa embarrassed hearing no noise from the stall then took her knuckle and knocked lightly.

“Are you finished Lyra?”

Hearing no noise Marisa knocked again.

“I can’t..” 

Lyra’s little voice spoke out as if she was struggling with something. 

Marisa then covered her body over the stall opening as she opened it before letting herself into the stall where Lyra was struggling to put her dress back on right; she closed the stall behind her. Marisa then instinctively helped her, before flushing.

Marisa opened the stall once Lyra was properly dressed once more, the girl was happier and relieved that she no longer had to go to the bathroom. Lyra walked over to the sink only was not able to reach it from her height, Lyra then pulled upon Marisa’s dress to get her attention which startled her.

“I can’t reach it” 

Lyra pointed to the sinks to wash up, Marisa noticing the looks from the other mother’s then lifted Lyra up.

The little girl was surprisingly light, she settled Lyra upon her hip before leaning near the sinks allowing Lyra to wash. Mrs. Lonsdale taught her how to wash her hands, however, she did so sloppily; her hands still ended up clean. 

They then left the restrooms to return to the saleswoman to get checked out, as they approached where they were before. Lyra shifted in her arms placing her arms around Marisa’s neck, it was then that Marisa realized she still held the little girl. She then placed Lyra back down and once she had done so she realized she missed holding her. 

  
  


She pushed the thought to the back of her mind as she asked the saleswoman to wrap up their purchases and that they wished to checkout. Marisa was then directed downstairs to the cashiers where Lyra’s clothes were to be rung up, Marisa went to stand on the queue however failed to notice little Lyra.

As they had gone downstairs to the main floor to check out, little Lyra had been enamored by all the various toys and trinkets. Lyra softly let go of Marisa’s hand without the woman noticing her absence and looked throughout the various toys with wonder.

Lyra being from Jordan College had never seen many toys before let alone owned any, there were various toys such as jump ropes, colorful building blocks, kites, balloons, drawing supplies, balls, stuffed animals, and dolls. 

Marisa, was finishing up at the cashiers paying the man behind the counter as all of Lyra’s clothes, were wrapped up and sent to be delivered to her flat later today. 

Marisa closing her purse then noticed Lyra absent, suddenly fear unlike no other gripped her as her eyes widened and her eyes scanned the shop for Lyra. 

“Lyra?”

Marisa struggled to move past some people as she strained to find Lyra, her fear mounting with each second seeing children that looked like Lyra however were not her. 

“Lyra!” 

Marisa then shouted her fear reaching a new height as she failed to find Lyra, she moved throughout the children. 

The golden monkey climbed upon shelves to get a better view screeching out in cries searching for the little girl and her little daemon. 

The other people inside the store noticed Marisa frantic looking for her child and began to worry themselves knowing what it was like to almost lose their child in a store. Some offered to help her find Lyra, calling out her name along with Marisa. 

Suddenly the golden monkey leaped onto a display near a brown-haired little girl screeching out catching Marisa’s attention as she rapidly made her way towards her daemon. 

Marisa grabbed Lyra harshly, firmly gripping the girl’s arms and turning her around causing a stuffed panserbjørn bear to fall from the girl’s hand. 

“Lyra!” 

Marisa shouted at her daughter causing the girl to gasp in fright before seeing the angry face of Marisa who was furious and embarrassed. 

"Don't you ever walk away like that, you near frightened me to death!"

Lyra began to cry loudly, Marisa’s expression softened seeing Lyra dissolve into tears hiccuping and sobbing crying out across the store. Lyra’s daemon Pan curled around the girl’s neck protectively hiding his face as sad and scared as Lyra.

“I’m sorry” 

Lyra cried out as tears streamed down her face, she struggled to breathe as she was scared, in shock and overcome with tears. Marisa seeing Lyra regretted her actions, was so worried and Lyra had walked away from her so she was angry; she didn’t like not being in control of a situation. 

Marisa then bent down and brought Lyra into her, bringing her into a hug. She ran her fingers through Lyra’s hair soothingly clutching the girl’s head in her shoulder and neck. 

“I didn’t mean. I didn’t mean it” Marisa shushed Lyra holding her tight as Lyra cried hiccuping still against her. After a while Lyra began to get her breathing back under control however still shook with some hiccups and tears continued to fall. 

Marisa noticing the looks she was receiving lifted Lyra up into her arms settling her onto her hip holding tightly. The golden monkey noticed the fallen stuffed panserbjørn bear upon the floor that Lyra dropped and grabbed it before following Marisa. 

The other parents inside the shop now paid no attention to the whole situation that had just happened, knowing well that it had been them at one point with their own children. 

As Marisa walked towards the exit, her daemon caught her attention hoisting the stuffed panserbjørn bear up towards her. Marisa shifting Lyra in her arms took the bear before going over and paying for it and having it delivered with Lyra's clothes. 

Marisa and Lyra then left the shop and headed back to Marisa’s flat, as Marisa walked clutching little Lyra to her who was resting upon her shoulder having tired herself out was lightly sleeping with her eyes closed. 

Marisa at the sight melted before shifting Lyra in her arms a bit so she was more comfortable.

Marisa noticed Lyra looked even younger than when she was awake, reminding her of the baby she held five years ago. As Marisa walked on towards her flat she had a soft smile upon her face. 


	4. Unprepared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday to my friend and fellow writer @MickSonnenburg

Marisa carried little Lyra in her arms as she walked reaching her building, one of the doormen held the doors open for her, tipping his hat. 

“Ma’am” 

Marisa smiled politely at him before reaching the lift, Lyra moaned in her sleep shifting in Marisa’s arms in efforts to get comfortable. Lyra had slipped her arms around Marisa’s neck hugging her with her head on the woman’s shoulder. 

Marisa stilled as Lyra moved in her arms, she feared the girl would awake from the noise of the doorman. Marisa made shushing sounds as she stepped into the lift, hoping the sounds wouldn’t wake Lyra from her peaceful sleep. 

The girl was quiet, content and allowed Marisa to hold her which she surprisingly found she wasn’t against. However, she preferred holding Lyra in her arms. 

Lyra loosely gripped Marisa's hair in her sleep causing Marisa to take Lyra’s fingers away releasing her hair from the girl’s little fingers. Suddenly the lift opened to her flat where she juggled Lyra in her arms lifting her, adjusting her hold on the girl as she barely gripped her purse in one of her hands. 

Marisa looked around her empty flat as she got a handle of Lyra and her purse properly, she realized as she did so that she doesn’t have the guest bedroom made up for a guest so she had nowhere to place Lyra so she could sleep. 

Eventually, she figured Lyra could sleep on the couch for the present moment, she would have her staff make up the guest bedroom for Lyra in the meantime. Marisa carried Lyra over into the living room where she placed her purse down, before making her way over to the couch and went to gently place Lyra down.

Marisa leaned Lyra down onto the couch very softly careful not to wake the little girl, as Marisa set Lyra down Marisa raised herself to stand back up only to find Lyra had not let go of her. Lyra still had her arms around Marisa’s neck, Marisa then slowly and delicately released Lyra’s arms from around her neck placing Lyra fully onto the couch where she laid comfortably still asleep.

The whole ordeal was a tense affair, as Marisa nervously made sure not to wake Lyra. When Marisa finally got Lyra to let her go, Lyra rubbed her eye with her closed hand sleepily making Marisa tense. 

Lyra simply shifted on the couch in her sleep noticing the lack of Marisa now, Marisa breathed out a breath she hadn’t known she was holding. Marisa then grabbed a throw blanket from her bedroom before placing it over Lyra covering her, tucking her in comfortably.

Marisa sat on the part of the couch where Lyra wasn’t on and brushed the stray hair away from Lyra’s face, tucking it behind her ear. Lyra laid peacefully upon the couch asleep, only moving slightly in her sleep every other minute or so in attempts to get comfortable. 

Marisa had sought to go over correspondence in her study, however, as she sat in there she kept thinking of the little girl alone in the living room asleep. So there she was now, sitting at the living room desk table glancing at Lyra fast asleep on the couch.

The little girl's chest rising and falling with each breath, Marisa found herself relaxed and at peace having the little girl in her company. 

Suddenly as Marisa was writing further into her research is when suddenly a light buzzing ran out from the lift, causing Lyra to moan in her sleep causing Marisa to spring up to stop it before it woke Lyra. 

One of the members of staff came out to see if Marisa needed assistance, it happened that the buzzing was Lyra clothes and various items that they purchased at Woodorfs arriving. The staff quickly took over the delivery, having the package that was nicely packed in designer boxes with tissue paper wrappings brought up in the lift. 

Marisa instructed them that she wished for everything to be brought into the guest room and to have the room made up for Lyra since she would be staying with them. With the staff taking control of the delivery Marisa noticed Lyra moving on the couch, she turned her attention. 

Lyra turned onto her side with her hand laying near her face, Lyra rubbed at her eyes sleepily before resting her hand down once more. Her face scrunching up a little bit in her sleep in reaction to the noise, the blanket that had been covering Lyra slipped off the girl when she moved half of it upon the floor. 

Marisa came over picking up the blanket, before fixing it back over Lyra without waking her. Drawn into the moment, Marisa couldn’t help staring at Lyra's sleeping face and how the girl moved slightly in her sleep at Marisa placing the blanket back over her. 

All Marisa saw when she looked at Lyra sleeping was the baby she had last seen five years ago, she reached her hands to brush her thumb along Lyra’s cheek softly before slipping her hand away.

The golden monkey watched Marisa interact with the sleeping little girl with interest, having not seen or experienced Marisa having been so gentle with someone before however only once in the past...with **_him_ **.

Marisa experiencing some emotions quickly retreated herself away from the sleeping girl, to be alone with her thoughts letting Lyra sleep. Marisa had no issues with letting Lyra sleep since the girl was quiet, manageable and Marisa felt she was finally back in control of the situation since the girl first appeared in her lift with that letter. 

The only thing Marisa didn’t know was that you shouldn’t let little children nap for too long for they would never go to sleep at night on time. However she hadn’t known, for she hadn’t raised a child for five years; she was now. 

Marisa had gone off directing her staff on where and how she wanted the guest room to be decorated along with where everything would be located. The staff were a bustle getting everything together, they were quite excited never having had any guest before let alone a child. 

The change was going to make life interesting, the staff had already gossiped on how they liked the little girl. The girl who spilled milk breaking glass, throwing Mrs. Coulter through a loop, and live to tell the tale. 

They prepared the guest bedroom for little Lyra with Mrs. Coulter’s instructions, as she was directing the staff on where to put the dresses for Lyra. As they were finishing putting away Lyra’s clothes and things Marisa was talking to her number one servant, the other staff members had dispersed. 

“I trust your understanding, that not a word about Lyra will make its way out of this flat. Understood?” 

Marisa’s servant bowed his head in agreement and respect before suddenly Marisa noticed the member of her staff stop their movements and look towards the doorway of the guest bedroom they were currently in. 

Little Lyra leaned on the doorframe looking in for Marisa, acting all shy at the sight of multiple people. Lyra hid part of her face with her hand, as she peeked in looking for Marisa who noticed her when her servant stopped. At the arrival of Lyra, the servant smiled softly towards the little girl who looked at him with innocent curious eyes before leaving the room. 

“Lyra you’re awake” 

Marisa called out stepping into Lyra’s line of sight, as she approached her. Lyra had been asleep for two whole hours, the girl was rubbing the sleep out of her eyes as Marisa approached her. 

The golden monkey sauntered over to Lyra as well noticing Pan sitting upon Lyra’s mary jane’s on the floor, upon seeing the golden monkey Pan ducked behind Lyra’s little legs. 

Marisa seeing Pan hide from her own daemon caused Marisa to flinch, the girl did not trust her which frustrated Marisa. She wanted Lyra to be comfortable around her, it made her insides boil as she was brought back to the reason her own daughter not trusting her.

She abandoned her and the girl knew it, there was no hiding it. She could only show Lyra, she could be trusted. 

“Lyra come here” 

Marisa beckoned softly, as the girl looked up to her with innocent uncertain eyes. Lyra had the encounter in the shop fresh in her mind, she does remember hugging Marisa in her sleep so she sought her out after waking up. 

Lyra slowly stepped into the room, Marisa smiled softly towards her which made Lyra relax her shoulders. 

Marisa smiling placed her hands upon Lyra’s shoulders, steering her in front of her in view of the bedroom.

“Now, Lyra this will be your room”

Lyra’s little eyes widened at Marisa’s words 

“This is mine?”

Marisa, thinking the girl was unsure and unhappy with the non-decorated room quickly went to reassure her.

“If you wish I can have some decorators come tomorrow-” Marisa hadn’t gotten through nearly half her sentence before Lyra then giggled before she started running circles within the room looking all about in awe of the room. 

Marisa watched her run around with surprise upon her face before, Lyra then noticed the massive comfortable bed that had been made up covered in pillows and plush covers. 

Lyra then proceeded to jump gleefully onto the bed face first with Pan turning from a bird into an ermine rubbing himself upon the bed alongside Lyra, Marisa with Lyra jumping upon the bed found herself let out a giggle that of which she tried to stifle as she smiled softly slightly happy at the sight. 

Lyra being a burst of energy then proceeds to slide off the bed dramatically with giggles before running out of the room with Pan chasing after her gleefully, Marisa had quickly moved out of the way for the little one to shoot past her and out of the bedroom. 

* * *

Little high pitched happy giggles and shrieks echoed inside the entire flat as little Lyra ran all around with no chance of slowing down as Marisa then chased her tirelessly in attempts to stop the little one. 

Lyra’s giggles carried across the entire flat as Lyra ran her shoes making noise upon the marble flooring.

Marisa, in shock at the energy the one little five year old possessed, attempted to chase down the little girl who was playing with Pan, all too happy. Marisa was getting angry and frustrated as the girl ran around the flat, with no indication of slowing down anytime soon. 

The golden monkey watched Lyra and Pan run around in surprise before taking off in chase of them both screeching at them causing Lyra to shriek in surprise and excitement thinking it was all a game like little children do. 

Marisa felt her control of the situation slipping as her own daemon failed to slow down the little one let alone stop her; she was so unprepared. 

After running around this way and that way making Marisa’s head spin in circles thankfully Lyra and Pan had eventually evolved into playing hide and seek as Lyra hid behind doors only for the golden monkey to point and screech at finding her causing Lyra to giggle loudly high pitched shrieking with giggles as she exclaimed in surprise running away from the golden monkey and Marisa. 

As Lyra hid once more, Marisa sought her out along with her daemon, in attempts to get Lyra to calm down from her excitement. Marisa felt a migraine approaching as she failed to control the little one set loose throughout her flat; equivalent to a little tornado. 

“Lyra?” 

Marisa called out in a sing-song voice clipped with frustration, as she glanced around the flat for the little girl.

Suddenly there was a high pitched giggle which was slightly muffled along with some shushing noises. 

“I wonder where Lyra went?” Marisa called out playfully, smiling as she neared where the giggle had originated. Marisa then quickly opened her own bedroom door with a proud smile of accomplishment upon her face.

“Got you!” 

Marisa put her hands out in front of her playfully as if to catch Lyra, Lyra shrieked out in surprise giggling up a storm as she made to run past Marisa.

Lyra got past her only for Marisa to catch her in the corridor as the little one tried to run past her, Marisa grabbed Lyra by the waist hoisting her up on her hip by her side. Lyra continuously giggled as she squirmed within Marisa’s grasp in excitement her smile was ear to ear. 

Marisa spun her around once before stopping and placing Lyra back down on her feet in front of her. Marisa bent down to Lyra’s height, slightly out of breath. Surprisingly Marisa found that she could not stay mad, as she looked upon Lyra’s little giggling smiling face; her anger melted away.

“You are a handful aren’t you” Lyra just giggled at her words, Marisa fixed Lyra’s now messy hair away from the little girl’s face.

“Now Lyra, why don’t we calm down and go sit in the living room” 

Marisa then steered Lyra holding a tight grip on the girl’s shoulder taking everything within her not to lose her cool that Lyra sent her on a goose chase across the flat.

Lyra simply followed jumping from one foot to another, still a burst of energy as she listened to her mother as she was steered towards the living room. Marisa placed Lyra to sit upon the couch, Lyra then giggled and leaned to slip past Marisa once more to run off. 

Marisa caught her before she could. 

“Ah no no no” 

Marisa scolded Lyra who giggled at her innocently as she put her hands over mouth giggling. 

Marisa, attempting to calm Lyra down, made a shushing sound as she brought a finger to her lips in an effort to get Lyra to be quiet. 

Lyra mimicked her slightly still giggling smiling up at her, Pan an ermine upon the little girl’s lap jumping up and down playfully. 

Marisa, hoping to find something to get Lyra to calm down, noticed Lyra’s rucksack upon the couch which Lyra had left there before they went to the shop. 

Marisa reached for it causing Lyra to notice, which made the girl’s smile diminish as she reached for it at the same time as Marisa. 

Having noticed Lyra’s reaction Marisa made sure to grab it first before Lyra could, curious at the girl’s actions. 

“So what did you bring with you Lyra?”

Marisa asked as she lifted the rucksack open before reaching into it and grabbing hold of what appears to be a children's book. 

“That’s mine”

Lyra’s little hands reached out for it in attempts to grab it, Marisa pulled it away as she glanced towards Lyra who was frustrated at not getting the book. 

Upon Lyra’s face was a grumpy angry expression eerily similar to her ownself, catching Marisa off guard as she noticed the similarities between her and her daughter. Lyra even scrunched up her nose like she does, when cross. 

“We ask politely for things” Marisa chided Lyra, who realized what Marisa meant having been taught manners from Charles and Mrs. Lonsdale. 

“Please?” Lyra asked, dragging the word out as she practically begged for her book, Lyra was becoming upset wanting the book. Marisa hearing Lyra say the magic word, conceded and handed the book over to Lyra who quickly grabbed it and clutched it to her chest hugging as she held a pout upon her little face.

Marisa noticed the shift in the little girl, one moment she had been happy as could be, and now at the sight of the book, she looked sullen. Lyra hugged the book to her as if it were a person, Pan now had transformed into a mouse and curled close to Lyra upon her lap.

“Lyra, is that your book?” 

Marisa asked innocently as she was looking to find some answers from the little girl. 

Lyra just nodded her little head to answer, not saying a word as she looked to Marisa. Lyra then looked down to her lap, as if thinking back on something.

“Daddy gave it to me” 

Lyra whispered lowly Marisa almost didn’t hear it, the words catching Marisa by surprise hearing mentions of Asriel. It sparked feelings inside of her, hearing Lyra refer to Asriel as ‘Daddy’. Some feelings of jealousy, guilt, and past regrets of the past. 

“Oh.....can I see it?”

Lyra cautiously looked up from her lap at Marisa, as she debated handing over one of her prized possessions before she slowly nodded her head before revealing the book from her grasp before holding it in her little hand towards Marisa.

Marisa took it into her hands delicately, her heart leaping that Lyra trusted her with the book. Lifting it into view with her fingers brushing along the cover, she noted the children's book contained illustrations and held stories of the north including it being centered around a panserbjørn bear who went on adventures.

Looking upon the book, Lyra’s fascination with the stuffed panserbjørn bear plush toy made sense; as Marisa noted it looked exactly like the illustration within the book. A thought popped into Marisa’s head as she smiled before handing the book back to Lyra who took it into her small hands before Marisa went somewhere for a moment before reappearing. 

Marisa held something behind her back and a sly smile upon her face, as she neared Lyra who had stayed upon the couch. 

As Marisa reached Lyra she bent down to Lyra’s height before smiling wide and pulling out the stuffed panserbjørn bear plush toy from behind her back surprising Lyra.

Lyra’s little eyes widened at the sight of the plush toy in surprise before breaking out into a huge smile as she had done before. Marisa held out the plush toy to Lyra, who then took the plush within her arms hugging it tight to her chest with a contented smile upon her face. 

Marisa smiled at the sight of Lyra happy once more, before being surprised by Lyra jumping forward and hugging her as tight as the plush toy a second ago. Lyra wrapped her arms around Marisa’s neck sinking into the woman, Marisa found her own arms coming up to hug Lyra to her. 

As Lyra held onto Marisa she did not let go, sinking into her mother's embrace flooding the woman with such love causing a flood of emotions to come over her. Marisa’s eyes became moist as she held her little girl within her arms, she struggled with her emotion, and with the thought that within two months Lyra would be gone. 

Asriel was ‘daddy’ to Lyra, while she was nothing; she had to remind herself that all of this was temporary.

Lyra would be gone within two months, her life and research would resume and she would be well on her way to success within the magisterium. However, she couldn’t help it as her thoughts and her heart brought her to the dream that perhaps she could have both. 

Having Lyra within her arms, holding her tight Marisa melted from the affection; she found she didn't wish for Lyra ever to leave her arms again. 


	5. Connecting

Later on they had a quiet dinner just the two of them, Lyra swung her feet under the table where her feet did not meet the floor since she was too short. 

Marisa was in the middle of explaining to Lyra that she could not have her new stuffed panserbjørn bear plush toy at the table with them which resulted in a frown.

They were served lemon crusted chicken with vegetables, the chicken of which Lyra had trouble only for Lyra to pout before one of the staff cut it up small for her and then returned her plate. 

As they sat in peace with a silence stretching the volume of the entire flat, Marisa was itching to have Lyra talk. Marisa having not known the simplest things about her daughter, such as her clothing size struck a nerve inside of her. 

So, Marisa attempted conversation with Lyra asking her questions ranging from her favorite things to do all the way to pretty much everything she missed for the last five years. 

Lyra didn’t say much, still not comfortable with Marisa. Lyra did almost open up about a memory between her and her father. 

“One time he caught me playing in the clay-” That was all Lyra said as her expression turned from smiling upon the memory to a sullen expression before looking back down at her plate. 

After seeing Lyra’s expression fall, Marisa saw the opportunity to change the subject eager to shift it away from talks of Asriel. 

“Lyra, I wish to get to know you better. What are the most important things to know?” Marisa’s eyes flashed with desire as she wanted answers, she smiled towards Lyra who was raising her fork to eat a piece of chicken. Lyra chewed the piece of chicken quickly in order to answer Marisa, Lyra put down her fork.

“Nothing to say really” Lyra shrugged the question off, not knowing how to respond or what to say. 

Marisa was not used to someone brushing her off so easily, most people would hang onto her in conversation or would jump at the opportunity to talk about themselves. Lyra was different, she was interesting. 

“Well there must be something” 

Marisa’s eyes flashed as she playfully attempted to get Lyra to smile, which worked as Lyra smiled towards her. Lyra’s demeanor eased as she noticed Marisa’s comforting, smiling face as she looked towards her. 

“I like to climb” 

Marisa beamed when Lyra spoke, delighted to learn anything about Lyra. “There we go, how exciting. I do hope you are being safe when you climb”

“I usually am, however this one time I was climbing on the roofs at Jordan and slipped off the side. I hit my head quite badly. The master was in stitches after I got hurt”

Marisa’s face bore concern over the previous event, she gripped her daemon under the table by the scruff of the neck in her anger that her child was allowed to run wild and free around the college. Where no one was watching, she easily got hurt and no one was around to stop her. She wasn’t around, she couldn’t; all because of Asriel. Her anger surrounded her internally festering with guilt and frustration that Asriel allowed this to happen.

“I was alright and I’m careful now” 

Marisa snapped her head back towards Lyra as the girl reassured. Lyra had noticed the shift in Marisa even though she attempted to hide her anger of Lyra getting injured while in the college’s care, she still saw it upon Marisa’s face.

“Well, I am glad you were alright” Marisa softly smiled reassuringly towards Lyra who’s shoulders relaxed as Marisa let go of the scruff of her daemon's neck; smiling towards Lyra. 

It was quiet and calm after that, as they finished dinner.

“Why don’t we get you all settled into your room?”

Marisa stood from the dining table, with a soft look upon her face as she watched Lyra follow her lead by attempting to push her chair away from the table since her feet did not reach the ground per her height. 

Marisa without even thinking much reached Lyra, pulled out her chair and took her hands into her own as the girl jumped down to the ground happily. 

Lyra smiled at Marisa’s actions as little by little she was emerging out of her shell around the woman. Lyra liked Marisa, she played with her and hadn’t yelled like Mrs. Lonsdale usually did when she was caught playing around Jordan. Asriel never really had the time for her recently, they used to spend time together however that changed in the past two years.

However Lyra still remembers that Marisa hadn’t wanted her to begin with; perhaps she changed her mind? Lyra secretly hoped. 

Lyra and Marisa first went back to the living room to retrieve Lyra’s rucksack, which Lyra quickly reached for before Marisa as she held the rucksack close to herself protectively. 

Lyra followed Marisa towards the bedroom they were in earlier, where the staff had finished putting Lyra’s new clothes away inside the dresser and closet.

Lyra entered first as she reached the desk within the bedroom, placing her rucksack upon it. Marisa entered behind the girl watching her as she did so, staying by the entrance to the room not knowing what to do or say. 

Marisa noticed one box had been left to be put away, she reached for it on top of the dresser pulling the white ribbon from the top and opening the box. Revealing one of Lyra's dresses and her socks, Marisa noticed as she lifted one of the socks up to put them away how tiny they appeared. 

Bringing to the forefront of her mind how young Lyra is, as well as the last time she handled her daughter’s clothes. Which was when she had just been changed after being born. Five years, gone. 

Lyra opened her rucksack before she then reached in and pulled out the book they had been talking about earlier, she placed it on the desk. Lyra then reached in once more pulling out some more children’s books and her journal which were laid upon a soft cotton material poking out of the rucksack.

Lyra took her books and journal and stacked them in the corner upon the desk in a pile, before she remembered she left her stuffed panserbjørn bear plush toy that Marisa got for her in the living room. 

Lyra’s eyes widened as if she committed a travesty forgetting the bear, she then began to run off catching Marisa off guard as she was surprised as the girl began to run out of the room.

“Lyra?”

Marisa watched as the little girl raced out of the bedroom past her from where she had been standing near the desk. Hearing Lyra inside she turned once more towards the desk where Lyra had just been in effort to help her unpack after she finished putting Lyra’s socks inside one of the dresser drawers. Marisa couldn’t however be curious on why Lyra was so protective and guarded with the rucksack, the golden monkey shifted his eyes towards her then to the rucksack. 

Marisa smoothed her dress, before tucking some hair away from her own face before making her way over to the desk and the rucksack. Marisa shifted the rucksack a bit removing some children’s drawing’s and various papers from inside that Lyra must have drawn from the sight of them.

Then she noticed something that made her whole body freeze, as she was then transported back in time. Marisa with a soft slightly shaking hand reached for the white soft thin cotton blanket peeking out of the rucksack slightly in view. 

Marisa nearly trembled as she lightly touched the blanket, as memories assaulted her tears began to form within her eyes which she fought strongly to withhold. 

Marisa then slowly pulled the blanket from the confines of the rucksack, then lifted it up in front of her getting a full view. Marisa then suppressed a near sob as she then leaned back from the desk holding the blanket within her hands to sit upon the edge of Lyra’s bed. The blanket now lowered to her lap, as she nearly collapsed with suppressed feelings. 

It was Lyra’s baby blanket, the very same one she had purchased and picked out all those years ago. The very same one, Lyra’s had been wrapped in when she had been born. The very same blanket, Lyra had when Asriel took her away and brought her to Jordan College. 

Lyra had kept it, all these years. Close to her. 

Marisa took a sharp breath as she moved her hand along the cotton soft fabric, as her daemon peered over her lap with a sullen longing expression. He reached out a hand towards the blanket only to be lightly slapped away, Marisa had no strength at the moment to be aggressive towards him. He turned slightly away pouting while still glancing towards her and the blanket. 

Lyra had a piece of her all along, Marisa had long forgotten about the blanket until now expecting it to have been lost or forgotten as Lyra’s connection to her had been severed. 

Marisa’s gaze then raised from her memories at the sound of little feet quickly approaching the bedroom making noise upon the marble flooring. Lyra entered the room seeing Marisa upon the bed, she had her stuffed panserbjørn bear plush toy raised in the air above her head like a prize with victory upon her face and a smile a mile wide. 

Marisa was then pulled from the blanket to Lyra, her sweet adorable dimpled smile as she held the stuffed panserbjørn bear; she smiled towards her daughter as her eyes hid their previous pain as if washed away. 

Marisa, noticing Lyra and the stuffed bear smiled playfully greeting her. 

“There you are”

Lyra came over Marisa’s side happily with her stuffed bear in her hands, Lyra’s then attempted to climb upon the bed to sit beside Marisa. Lyra moaned and struggled in attempts to climb upon the bed, Marisa not wishing the girl to put her shoes upon the clean bed rushed to scoop Lyra up. 

Marisa hoisted Lyra up by under her little arms onto the bed, before depositing her upon it beside her to sit. Marisa shifted and moved the blanket a little bit off to the side for Lyra to sit, only for Lyra to notice it right away. 

“That’s my blanket” Lyra reached for pulling it close to her, and then tucked it away from view as if to hide it with an embarrassed expression. 

“Wait” 

Marisa stilled Lyra’s hands from attempts to hide the blanket not wishing to take her gaze off of it. 

Marisa took the blanket back into her own hands gently touching it as a sacred item, admiring it with what one might suspect as affection.

“This blanket, I gave this to you when you were born. You kept it?” 

Marisa held her gaze into Lyra’s eyes, which softened as Lyra thought of her blanket. 

Lyra just nodded her head with a small smile, as she gripped the blanket in one of her hands while it laid upon Marisa’s lap. Marisa felt a warmth within her chest, Marisa placed her hand over her daughter’s with a warm expression. 

The two having a moment sat in silence. 

Marisa brushing off her feelings realizing the situation has turned sentimental, she stood straightening her dress. 

“I have some research to put away” 

Marisa breathed out sighing as she softly smiled towards Lyra, she then quickly ran her fingers through Lyra’s hair before she lowered her hand walking to leave the room. 

Lyra then looked towards Marisa with a searching curious gaze, as if contemplating something. 

“I almost forgot something” 

Lyra then let go of her blanket and slid off the edge of the bed before going over to the desk once more where her rucksack laid. Lyra reached inside and pulled out a medium sized object that Marisa could not really see. Lyra avoided Marisa’s gaze as she gripped the object in her hands clutching it to her chest, she approached Marisa. 

Lyra looked up towards the woman with innocent hopeful nervous eyes. 

“This is for you” 

Lyra then held out a leather bound photogram album tied shut with a leather matching strap. 

Marisa reached out steady hands, as she gazed upon the photogram album with curious eyes wondering what Lyra was really giving her. 

“These are photograms of me, I wondered if….if you may want to have it?”

Lyra spoke delicately afraid of rejection, Marisa had been nice and kind towards her, including her in sentences as if they were a unit rather than separate. She let her stay with her, not casting her out like Lyra feared when she first arrived. 

Lyra did not see the woman's expression, as she glanced towards her shoes in nervousness. Pan curled behind her shoes peering cautiously towards the golden monkey who was bent down as if to be at Pan height looking to Pan with awe in his eyes. 

“I do” 

Lyra looked up towards her in surprise as her shoulders relaxed, she breathed out as her heart felt warmth. Lyra softly smiled as she presented the photogram album towards Marisa who took it with gentle hands. 

Marisa gazed upon the album as if it was the greatest possession in the world, she expertly hid her emotions as she only smiled an appreciative smile as she took it from Lyra. 

“Thank you, Lyra…..Why don’t you play for a bit and get settled, I’ll come retrieve you for a bath within an hour before bed” 

Lyra smiled shyly before her and Pan turned around towards her blanket and her stuffed panserbjørn bear, Lyra picked up her bear as Marisa smiled towards her before she looked to the marble flooring as she left the little girl’s room. 

As Marisa turned the corner out of Lyra’s sight she brushed her hand along the front of the photogram album with desire and longing to see inside of it. The golden monkey then stepped in front of her, drawing her gaze from the photogram album. 

Marisa was then reminded of her research notes that needed to be organized, she grabbed them organizing them within their folder before making strides towards her study while glancing into Lyra’s room to see her sitting upon the floor playing with her stuffed panserbjørn bear and her daemon. 

Marisa silently tilting her head watched the girl contentedly play with her new plush toy and her daemon, innocent in nature. The moment something she would have never thought she would see, Marisa tucked her bottom lip inward as she turned to walk towards her study.

Marisa clutched her research notes along with the photogram album which was medium in size as well as slightly hefty. She gently placed it upon her study desk, while she put away her research in their locked drawer hidden from prying eyes. 

As Marisa tidied up her desk she tossed down the drawer keys evidently near where she placed the photogram album, her eyes landed on it once more. 

As Marisa glanced towards her open study door the golden monkey jumped up to the desks level landing upon the desk chair, she looked towards Lyra’s bedroom to see the light illuminating the hallway as well as heard Lyra’s little voice talking to her daemon. 

Marisa’s fingers glided to the cover of the leather bound photogram album, as she contemplated opening it and taking a look. A multitude of thoughts and emotions entered her as she stared at it in thought.

Perhaps she only took a look for a second, just one photogram.

The golden monkey jumped upon the desk to distract Marisa giving her a look as to remind her that there were more important things to deal with. 

Such as checking her itinerary for the week and how she now had to adjust meetings and events accordingly in order to care for Lyra now. 

Marisa was then reminded she had a meeting over tea downtown tomorrow, that she simply had to attend for she could not get out of it. It would look as if she snubbed Mrs. Davis, who happened to be an influence tied to the magisterium and a potential investor for her research.

They had to go, she would have to take Lyra along. Hopefully she would find the girl charming and it would work within Marisa’s favor. 

The golden monkey smirked at Marisa’s thoughts as he wiped his tail against her hand, pleased. 

Marisa made some marks within her calendar with a gold fountain pen, reminders to send letters out to future meetings and social engagements announcing she may not be able to attend per her new arrangement. 

Once Marisa finished, she made her way to her own bedroom to change into one of her nightgowns for the night. It was her blue full length nightgown, she also took the photogram album with her placing it down on her bedside table before turning on the lamps. 

Marisa turned down the covers and sheets to her bed, before she then turned towards the corridor once more to get the bath ready and check upon Lyra. 

Marisa paused within the doorway of Lyra’s bedroom, seeing Lyra laid upon the floor with her plush toy with her daemon where she had last seen her.

“Lyra?”

“Hmm?” Lyra turned her head which was held up in her hands towards Marisa who was leaning in the doorway. 

“It’s time for your bath”

Lyra attempted to not make a sour expression, not really wishing to take a bath. It was her least favorite thing to do, Mrs. Lonsdale would scrub her hair hard each time and the water was near scalding hot. The woman seemed to believe Lyra would always be covered in thick clay and or mud each time she took a bath so she would keep it hot. 

Lyra ditested baths with a vengeance, as Marisa announced this Pan ducked under the bed as if to hide peeking out in nervousness. He gave Lyra a look as if to agree with her, they didn’t know how a bath would be here. 

The golden monkey eyed Lyra and Pan through narrowed calculating eyes as they observed Lyra and Pan’s demeanor. Marisa seeing Lyra and her daemon’s apprehension and hesitation, stared Lyra down challengingly. Marisa held out her hand for the girl, beckoning her over.

"Lyra"

Lyra at the sight of Marisa’s expression and tone of voice slowly got up from the floor, with her head down as she insecurly made her way towards Marisa who cliply smiled pleased the girl obeyed. 

The golden monkey threw Marisa a look as if to question Lyra’s hesitation to their order of a bath, Lyra was a child after all there would be disobedience. 

The golden monkey chided, expressing to Marisa that the child would be a challenge. 

Marisa was pulled from her own daemon by Lyra reaching her side to follow her to the restroom for the bath. The closeness took Marisa by surprise, especially when she found herself slipping her hand upon Lyra’s shoulder guiding her to the restroom. 

Marisa and Lyra entered the restroom turning on the anbaric light, before Marisa reached the bathtub turning on the water adjusting the temperature so it wasn’t too hot for Lyra plugging the tub so it filled. She then reached into the cupboard for the bubble bath which was in a glass bottle, she poured a good amount into the water before lifting the bottle and capping it and placing it back into the cupboard. 

Marisa then pulled one of the lounge stools over from the window over to the edge of the back of the tub. Lyra stood there dreading the bath, however she was tired and did not know Marisa much to openly protest. 

Marisa then went to enter Lyra’s bedroom once more, Lyra didn't follow her not knowing what to say or do. Usually Mrs. Lonsdale did the same, fussing to set up the bath for Lyra. 

Lyra in the meantime watched the bubbles form within the water, surprised there were bubbles, usually in her regular baths there was only soapy water along with a scratchy washcloth that scraped Lyra’s skin harshly. 

Pan jumped onto the rim of the bathtub as Lyra watched the bubbles rise and form rising within the water, Lyra was beginning to get excited at the sight of the bubbles. 

Marisa reached into Lyra’s dresser retrieving a set of silk pajamas and undergarment for her, folding them neatly before going into the restroom once more placing them along with a giant fluffy towel off to the side on the other lounge stool by the window. 

Marisa then sighed turning towards Lyra who was leaning on the edge of the bathtub watching the bubbles with fascination along with her daemon. Lyra’s daemon was an white ermine on the rim of the bathtub next to Lyra wagging with excitement towards the bubbles. 

“Alright, let’s get you clean” 

Marisa came over to Lyra who moved away from the tub to listen to Marisa, she made motions for Lyra to get undressed which when Lyra did so Marisa turned away along with the golden monkey to give the girl some privacy. 

When Lyra went to lift her dress over her head, she groaned with frustration as she got stuck Marisa peeked slightly at the noise to see Lyra struggling. She then reached over to Lyra and helped free her little head from the dress, before taking it and folding it up and placing it upon the lounge stool away from Lyra’s clean pajamas. 

Lyra turned towards the bathtub with concern noticing it’s height and her lack of, trying to determine how to get into the tub. Lyra went to reach for the edge only for Marisa to notice the girl was going to attempt to enter the high up bathtub. 

“Right, up you get” 

Marisa then lifted Lyra up under the girl’s arms before attempting to place her safely into the water. Only for Lyra to screech out in anxiety afraid the water would be scalding hot, Lyra clung to Marisa afraid and apprehensive. 

“What’s the matter?” 

Marisa was frustrated at the child for stopping her, it gave her a slight fright not expecting Lyra to have a reaction. 

“The water, is it hot?” 

Lyra asked in a small unsure voice, glancing hesitantly towards the bubble filled water. 

Marisa then chuckled softly shaking her head, her hair moving with her.

“No, it is just right” 

She reassured Lyra who debated it as Marisa then set her gently down into the nice warm water.

Lyra relaxed and smiled softly as Marisa had told the truth about the water, it wasn’t scalding hot like Mrs. Lonsdale made her baths. Lyra settled into the water happily, it was warm not hot and there were oh so many bubbles. 

Lyra was happy as she began to play with the bubbles and foam within the water, the bath smelled so nice, similar to a clean scent with a hint of flowers. It was comforting, the scent soothed her as she pushed the bubbles around the tub.

“I never had a bubble bath before!” 

Lyra cried out in happiness towards Marisa.

Marisa smiled in response as she then sat upon the lounge stool placed at the edge of the bathtub, she looked towards Lyra to see her playing happily within and around the bubbles. Marisa was fascinated as Lyra was happy and transfixed simply at the sight and touch of the bubbles; such a simple thing. 

Marisa then cupped some water into her hands to wet the back of Lyra’s hair, Lyra let her. Not even noticing as she continued to play with the bubbles. Lyra then began to make little splashes which made Marisa tense, hoping the girl did not begin to splash big splashes. Lyra’s daemon then shifted into a goldfish jumping into the bath happily excited to swim around and play with Lyra. 

Marisa pretended not to notice the innocence of Lyra playing within the bath, she smiled softly as Lyra let her bathe her and wash her hair. To Lyra it felt natural, noticing right away how different Marisa was in comparison to Mrs. Lonsdale. 

She made sure the water was just the right temperature. She put bubbles in the bath, which excited Lyra for she never had a bubble bath before. Mrs. Lonsdale would yank and pull Lyra’s hair, attempting to wash it scrubbing away harshly. Mrs. Lonsdale was nice to Lyra, don’t be mistaken however she wasn’t like Marisa with Lyra. 

Marisa was gentle.

Marisa ran her fingers through Lyra’s hair washing it with the soap, thoroughly cleaning Lyra’s hair delicately. She took her time as she smiled softly towards Lyra, who leaned into her touch as it comforted her. 

Marisa ran her fingers on Lyra’s head, smoothing out a strand of Lyra’s hair with her finger tucking it behind Lyra’s ear as her mind ran away from her. This was her child and she was a mother, there was a stirring within her heart that made her feel light. 

Marisa then rinsed water over Lyra’s head, luckily avoiding the little one’s eyes, as she placed her hand to cover them to protect Lyra from the soap. 

Lyra finished her bath, almost sad upon being finished not wishing to part from the precious fun bubbles within the bathtub. Lyra did not put up a fight or show much displeasement after the bath, for it had been very soothing and made her feel sleepy. 

Marisa had lifted Lyra from the bathtub gently placing her down upon her feet, before quickly reaching for the giant soft fluffy towel. She then wrapped Lyra completely in it, which blanketed Lyra’s entirely only showing her little face peeking out. Lyra hugged the blanket feeling the cool air now hit her, she snuggled into it for warmth. 

Lyra sniffed through the water that was on her face, Marisa reached to help gently dry and rub Lyra’s face of water. As Lyra hugged the giant blanket, Marisa went and retrieved Lyra’s pajamas from the other lounge stool near the window. 

Lyra hid within the giant fluffy towel for warmth hiding her face, Pan huddled underneath near her feet. Marisa then noticed the lack of Lyra’s face, so she then reached to pull back the towel to see her. Lyra sleepily had cold air hit her face as Marisa revealed it, Lyra just stood there tired just wishing for bed. Marisa only looked at her with a charming expression before helping Lyra gently dry her hair with the towel before helping her into her brand new pajamas. 

Lyra followed her lead putting on her undergarments before stepping into the pajama pants. Lyra rubbed her nose which itched as Marisa then helped button up Lyra’s pajama top carefully buttoning each button. Marisa smiled at the sight of Lyra in her new pajamas having proudly picked them out in the clothes shop earlier that day. 

Lyra was softly smiling through sleepy eyes, as she found the pajamas to be really comfortable making her even more tired than she already was. Lyra rubbed her eye sleepily with a closed fist, as Pan leaned on her leg. 

Afterwards Marisa set Lyra upon her lap as she quickly brushed through Lyra’s hair with her hairbrush, taking care of Lyra as the girl was sleepy she did not react much near falling asleep. Lyra leaned against Marisa as she brushed her hair, Marisa was careful not to tug upon Lyra’s hair much as to not disturb her. 

As she brushed, Marisa was shocked as Lyra’s daemon leaned against Marisa near falling over asleep only before leaning on her like Lyra before quickly awaking at the touch. Lyra awoke as well attempting to stay awake, running one finger over her right eye. 

Marisa finished just then, she put everything away in the restroom cleaning up before escorting Lyra towards her bedroom as if the little girl would not remember where it was located. Even if she did, Marisa still guided her to the bedroom. 

Lyra grabbed her blanket from the edge of the bed quickly sliding it under one of the pillows as if to hide it from Marisa, she was slightly embarrassed by the blanket even though Marisa already knew about it. 

Lyra was eager to jump into the bed, Marisa quickly pulled back the sheets and covers properly before Lyra jumped all over the place. Lyra waited for Marisa to finish turning down the bed, she placed the pillows comfortingly for Lyra. Marisa then realised how small Lyra was in comparison to the bed so she placed a pillow on each end of the bed sides as if to deter Lyra from accidentally falling out in her sleep. 

Lyra seeing Marisa was finished after having the woman glance towards her, she sleepily climbed into the giant bed sliding under the incredibly soft covers. Happy and content from the bath, sleepy from the exhausting day she had. 

Lyra laid back into the bed near falling into sleep then and there, only to have Marisa carefully cover Lyra with the covers tucking her in making sure she was comfortable and safe from falling out. Lyra looked towards her mother, as she tucked her in feeling safe for the first time in a while. Her mother was tucking her into bed, she took care of her. She told her she was happy Lyra was with her in the shop. 

Perhaps her mother did care for her after all, unlike her father wrote about her in his letters.

Marisa stood at the edge of the bed staring at the little girl tucked within the giant bed and covers, seeing the innocent face she gazed upon earlier in the day carrying Lyra home from the shop. 

The same face, she remembered all those years ago. 

“Goodnight”

Lyra’s soft light whisper broke her thoughts and feelings as she was brought back into the moment. Marisa then simply smiled a light warm smile towards Lyra, as she looked towards her child who sleepily smiled toward her; making direct eye contact. Pan curled upon the pillow and covers right next to Lyra content. 

She was still in disbelief that her daughter was in her flat; with her. 

She was here, they were together. 

“Goodnight” 

Marisa spoke softly with care, as Lyra nodded and snuggled into her covers quickly falling asleep as Marisa turned to turn off the lamp next to Lyra’s bed. 

Marisa looked down sheepishly as she then made steps towards the door, the golden monkey already in the doorway patiently waiting. 

She lingered for a moment longer seeing Lyra’s chest rising and falling with her breathing before she bowed out of the room slightly closing the bedroom door leaving it open just a little bit. 

  
  


Marisa then retreated to her own bedroom for the night her thoughts running away from her, mainly how this little girl. This child, her child could invoke such feelings inside of her. 

The golden monkey leaped onto the bed as Marisa slowly lowered herself back onto and into her own bed half under the covers, turning on the lamp next to her bed. As she did so her eyes landed upon the photogram album she had placed on her night table earlier. 

Marisa tentatively reached out her hands to the album, she delicately placed the album upon her lap directly in front of her. In the privacy of her bedroom, and with everything handled she mustered up the courage to take a look. 

Marisa quickly made haste with shaking hands as she untied the thin leather strap that kept it shut, she then opened the cover of the album.

Only to reveal a photogram of a newborn Lyra being held by Asriel in his arms, he held a proud smile upon his face as he looked at baby Lyra with such pride within his eyes. 

Marisa was hit with instant emotions of guilt, anger, frustration and heartache as she gazed upon the very baby she held when born. Her baby.

Asriel holding her contentedly with warmth in his eyes, the same warmth he held towards her oh so long ago.

It was too much. 

Marisa carefully closed the album placing it on the corner of her bedside table slightly away, as she sat within her thoughts and feelings. 

Marisa then turned off the anbaric lamp for the night and leaned back into her sheets as she sighed sullenly towards her bedroom doorway filled with thoughts of Lyra.


	6. Realizations

Sunlight streamed into the apartment surrounding all the walls and surfaces, the open window had a soft breeze billowing the white cotton lace curtains as Marisa Coulter slept upon her bed in her bedroom peacefully. The golden monkey was sleeping upon the edge of the bed furthest away from Marisa as comfortable as she was curled up. 

Some distant clattering from the staff in the kitchens awoke her for a start as she breathed in sharply and slowly began to flex and move her body under the sheets in attempts to wake herself further. Marisa kept her eyes shut as she did so, relaxing into the sheets until the memories of the previous day caught up to her as her eyes suddenly popped open in thought and realization. 

Marisa rose from her bedroom, her light slippers sliding against the floor as she slowly approached the spare bedroom as if approaching a frightened animal.

Marisa brushed her hand over the door as she shuddered through a breath before gripping the cool metal door handle. Slowly twisting it, turning it as she slowly opened the door without making a sound.

She very carefully with searching eyes opened the door a little bit to peek in, scanning the room taking in the bareness of it before settling upon the new boxes from yesterday atop the dresser that still had to be tucked away into storage.

Then her gaze turned to the left reaching the sight of the bed, which was very large for such a small little person. Marisa became concerned when she failed to find who she was searching for, the sheets upon the bed appeared to be messed around and half of the covers had slid onto the floor in the night.

Marisa, knowing from the bed’s state she hadn’t dreamt the previous day, however, began to panic at the lack of sight of little Lyra. She quickly made her way into the room fully opening the door quickly, the golden monkey had leaped upon the bed moving some sheets checking hurriedly underneath them in search. 

Marisa glanced on one side of the bed finding nothing before rushing to check the other side where the majority of the sheets and covers had slid onto the floor. 

Marisa stopped her movements, once she noticed the very small little figure wrapped in the covers and blankets upon the floor sleeping soundly on top of one long pillow. 

Marisa uncharacteristically bent down upon the carpet at little Lyra’s sleeping side, getting really close to the child inspecting her for any visible injuries after realizing she had fallen out and off the gigantic bed within the night. 

Lyra’s little chest continued to rise and fall as she slept very peacefully, Marisa gazed upon her innocent and peaceful face causing her to feel sentimental of another time she had gazed upon the same face years ago. 

All was quiet until Lyra in her sleep with her small hand brushed one hand across her cheek to scratch an invisible itch feebly. Before Lyra softly turned a bit clutching her blanket close to her chest and in one hand, as she slept upon her stomach with Pan curled up upon her neck and back sleeping away together. 

Marisa tisked her tongue making a sound as her face softened at the sight of her daughter, Marisa not wishing Lyra to sleep upon the floor. Very carefully as if defusing a bomb. Placed her arm underneath Lyra as she slept and under her knees to carry her little legs lifted the girl into her arms.

Marisa lifted Lyra into her body as she cradled her close, Lyra moaned very low at the change and movement, however, relaxed into her arms very quickly as she continued to sleep. Pan had shifted around Lyra’s neck so he didn’t fall. 

Marisa glanced up towards the bed where the golden monkey was standing upon it looking towards Marisa cuddling Lyra in her arms with longing as he reached his arms out towards Lyra pouting. 

Lyra sighing in her sleep making a noise of contentment then suddenly rested her head in the crook of Marisa's neck. 

Marisa froze, as she felt her own body and soul melt from the affection and love she had growing for her daughter. 

Marisa halted herself from placing Lyra carefully and safely back upon the bed. Marisa adjusted her arms lifting Lyra to be more comfortable as she cradled Lyra’s head with the back of her hand as she had done when Lyra was a baby. Her perfectly manicured nails and fingers very delicately played and ran through Lyra's little and soft locks of hair admiring it. 

She held her tight, she then began to rock Lyra within her arms slowly. She held onto Lyra for a while as more sunlight came through the windows as Lyra still slept peacefully within her arms; safe. 

Marisa then sat upon the sofa chair within Lyra’s bedroom pulling Lyra’s blanket to cover her slightly from the breeze in the room. 

Marisa closed her eyes and sighed as if a weight had been lifted from her back that had been pressing for the last five years. She melted into the moment, holding onto her daughter as she should have been able to. 

She had given her to Asriel to hide from Edward, Asriel had killed Edward while Lyra had been taken away to a nunnery. As she felt her inner confliction over her daughter's existence she had waited too long to seek her out and go after Lyra.

She had left it too long, Asriel had beaten her to Lyra at the nunnery and had whisked her away to Jordan college where she had been for the last five years. 

Forbidden and out of her reach. She had wasted time, she should have been quicker. Got to Lyra sooner, things could have been different. 

Asriel would have perhaps brought Lyra to her or at least allowed Marisa to see Lyra, hadn’t she damned him in his trial for Edward’s murder. 

Her mind is filled with mistakes and regrets, with Lyra within her arms the pain from it all seemed to ease. 

Marisa watched Lyra’s face as she slept, admiring every detail upon reaching out and noticing the little details among similarities between herself and her daughter. As well as how she equally shared similarities with Asriel.

As she stared at Lyra sleeping within her arms, a faint smile formed within the corner of her mouth and a deep feeling was emerging within her heart. 

Marisa stared at Lyra, mesmerized, that this girl...this tiny human was hers. She belonged to her, she originated from her. 

She was brought out of her thoughts and feelings at the sound of one of the staff walking past Lyra’s bedroom in the corridor. Marisa had been pulled from the moment remembering the plans and tasks that needed to be seen to today. 

Marisa slowly rose from the sofa chair carefully lifting Lyra within her arms, holding the weight of the little girl against her. She shifted Lyra within her arms, covering Lyra with her blanket that had fallen slightly when she stood. Lyra moaned her in her sleep, rubbing her head into Marisa’s neck and shoulder. Lyra placed her free arm around Marisa’s neck hugging her reaching out for comfort.

Marisa adjusted Lyra shushing her and gently rocking her slightly while placing her hand delicately against Lyra’s back. She began to rub her hands upon Lyra’s back, soothing her back into a comfortable sleep, Marisa held Lyra doing so for a while until Lyra returned to undisturbed sleep once more. 

The golden monkey had watched Marisa carry Lyra then over to the bed, where he currently was. Seeing her approach he quickly pulled the blankets and covers back onto the bed for Marisa to place Lyra down carefully so as to not wake her. 

Lyra made a light noise as if sounding her displeasure at having lost the direct contact with Marisa after being in her arms. 

Once Marisa had placed Lyra down, she then gently fixed the remainder of the covers onto the bed tucking Lyra into them as if she had never slid out of the bed within the night. 

Marisa secretly not wishing to leave Lyra’s proximity after having her daughter so close like that, kept fussing with the covers tucking Lyra fully in and making sure the little girl was comfortable. 

Marisa looked down at Lyra all tucked under the covers asleep, she was so tiny upon the gigantic double bed. It almost appeared it would swallow her whole or sink into the abyss of the covers. She retreated from the room tucking her bottom lip under her top as she closed Lyra’s bedroom door behind herself and her daemon. She stared at the white-painted closed door for a second before shaking her head as if to shake off her feelings and lingering thoughts. 

She retreated into the rest of the flat getting prepared for the day ahead while waiting for Lyra to awake within the hour.

Lyra awoke to be wrapped in the covers upon the gigantic comfortable bed with Pan curled on her neck and shoulder. She squinted through blurry eyes as she looked around the giant fancy bedroom she was currently situated in confusion before realization took over her.

She smiled softly as shock took over before Pan crawled down from her shoulder onto the sheets before her as she sat up within the bed leaning on the back of her hands to support her looking around the bedroom. 

Lyra looked towards the closed door, with only muffled low tones coming from outside before glancing towards the white lace curtains near the windows where sunlight was streaming in and an echo of birds chirping could be heard through the closed windows faintly. 

Lyra and Pan shared a glance with one another, Lyra smiled towards her daemon. 

Pan spoke aloud to Lyra.

“We did it”

“I can’t believe we are here…..with her” 

Lyra replied softly not speaking too loud that they wouldn’t be heard, with a soft smile upon her lips.

“I know…..she’s….she’s….”

Pan through his embarrassed shy feelings was hopeful however sad and cautious. 

“Just like the letters…” 

Pan smiled towards Lyra before nudging and rubbing his head into Lyra’s hand softly for comfort, Lyra then softly reached to hold up close as he climbed up on her once more in order for Lyra to hug her daemon close lightly. 

Lyra sighed as Pan and her embraced as she shuttered in her thoughts and insecure feelings. 

“Do you think she’ll want us?”

Lyra with emotion innocently whispered towards Pan. 

“I hope so, she’s all we ha-”

There was a sudden knock upon the door, causing Lyra and Pan to flinch as Pan scurried away from being so close to Lyra.

“Lyra, are you awake?” 

Marisa’s voice softly spoke through the door, before the doorknob was softly turned as the door slowly opened. Marisa peeked her head into the bedroom seeing Lyra sitting upon the bed now awake, facing Pan who had jumped down onto the covers in front of Lyra. 

“Good morning”

Marisa spoke softly smiling warmly towards Lyra, the girl was watching her through a still sleepy expression. 

“Good morning” 

Lyra returned in a soft whispering voice, a small soft smile growing upon her face cautiously as she saw Marisa enter the bedroom more fully opening the door before approaching Lyra’s bedside. 

Marisa stood at the edge of the bed where Lyra still sat up still underneath the covers, she noticed Lyra’s daemon maintaining eye contact with her which caught her by surprise for it was the first time she had made eye contact with Lyra’s daemon. 

Pan only looked away once the golden monkey made his presence known with his swishing tail sticking up on the side of the bed as he strutted to Marisa’s side. Pan peered over the edge of the bed down at him in curiosity however caution.

Pan leaned back pulling away from the edge in anxiety once the golden monkey sniffed at him in inspection suddenly. 

Marisa turned her attention away from her own daemon and Lyra’s towards Lyra once more.

“How did you sleep?” 

Lyra was surprised by the question never really having anyone ask her that in a while, no one to really care. Besides….

“The bed is very comfortable. It’s like a cloud!” 

Lyra being Lyra suddenly laid back down on the bed flat against the pillows dramatically as if to show how comfortable she found it.

Marisa let out a light chuckle at Lyra’s antics before biting her lip for a second, before speaking once more.

“Good, I’m glad. Well, we have quite the day ahead of us. However, first, it is important that we have some breakfast. Come on” 

Marisa held out a hand for Lyra with a soft smile, Lyra looked into her eyes and took it, shoving the covers off of her eagerly before taking her hand. 

  
  


The staff had set up breakfast on the dining table for the both of them, once Lyra and Marisa reached the dining room Marisa suddenly requested after seeing the place settings far apart that she wished to be seated closer to Lyra.

Marisa logically deduced it to herself that she wished so in order to avoid Lyra from having any trouble and or accidents while they ate their meal. When deep down she just wished to be closer to Lyra, for Lyra fascinated her. 

Marisa and Lyra sat down to eat breakfast where Marisa was seated right next to Lyra. Lyra happily sat as she watched Marisa directly talk to staff about the certain post that needed to be sent out as well as various tasks that needed to be done for her.

The kitchen staff and wait staff busied themselves with placing various food items upon the table for the two. The food contained some pancakes, tea, water, orange juice as well as many various fruits. 

While Marisa chatted with the head servant about a delivery she wished to have done, she overheard Lyra talk to the staff as one of the staff placed a plate of pancakes in front of Lyra along with a side of various fruits.

“Thank you…..I’m Lyra what’s your name?” 

Lyra sweetly smiled politely as she started to converse with the gentleman who had given her breakfast, the gentlemen returned the smile and nervously looked around when Lyra introduced herself to him being so adorable and friendly.

It was a stark contrast to Mrs. Coulter who barely spoke to the servants unless addressing them about tasks and duties. 

“You’re welcome, I am Lionel miss” 

The servant mumbled nervously, smiled addressing Lyra being polite. 

He then received a raised eyebrow from the head butler who had glanced over towards him and Lyra, the head butler then gestured his head towards the kitchens. 

Lionel bowed his head in respect towards Lyra and Mrs. Coulter before hastily leaving the dining room to go about his other duties. 

“Lyra, we don’t speak with the help”

“Why?” 

Marisa failed to answer her, scolding Lyra on how to behave without Marisa and Lyra noticing it was very motherly of her to do so. The head butler had noticed, softly hiding a smile at the slight change in the stiff and powerful woman he had known and worked for for years. 

Lyra watched Lionel go, a little down the new person she just met left however she shrugged it off as she noticed the pancakes now in front of her. Her eyes widened at the sight of them, she hadn’t really had pancakes before. 

However, had heard of them, Pan wiggled excitedly upon her lap. Lyra was excited and delighted to be able to have some, however, she looked to Marisa noticing the woman had yet to begin eating. 

Lyra then smiled, before reaching for the cutlery upon the table place sitting, she gripped in her little hand the fork and then sloppily the knife. Lyra now realized that the stack of pancakes in front of her was whole and slightly gigantic, nearly taking up the entirety of the plate beside the various fruits on the side. 

Marisa who had some papers and a fountain pen in one hand was currently sipping her tea with one hand while signing one of the papers with the other. After a moment of silence after the staff had left the room, she glanced towards Lyra expecting the little girl to have begun eating or at least make some noise. 

She was unusually quiet, Marisa without looking towards Lyra inquired. 

“Is something the matter? Aren’t you hungry Lyra?” 

“I don’t know how to cut the- …..I’ve never had them”

Marisa froze mid writing at Lyra’s words, she needed her; it was foreign. 

Someone needed Marisa for once, not for their own gain. However innocent in nature, here was a child. Her child needs her help to do a basic task, as cutting up their food in order for it to be in bite sizes. 

Marisa slowly and gently set down her fountain pen before packing her papers away from the dining table for once, tucking them away to focus on breakfast. 

Strangely enjoying the moment and her time with her daughter. Marisa shyly leaned a bit closer to Lyra who watched her with innocent searching eyes, as the woman came closer to Lyra’s side and took Lyra’s plate before her.

Set on doing this small task for Lyra, she gently took the knife out of Lyra’s loose hand before the little girl hurt herself and into her own before taking Lyra’s fork as well. Marisa set out on cutting the pancake into small-sized bite pieces in order for Lyra not to choke, deep in the back of her brain she knew she could have had one of the staff do this however she found she wished to do so herself. 

“Here we go"

Marisa smiled knowingly proud as she then slid the plate back towards Lyra and the girl’s place setting properly. Lyra who was famished took the fork back from Marisa’s hand as she held it back out to her to take. Lyra’s little hand gripped it, taking it looking down upon the plate prepared and excited to try the pancakes. 

Lyra took a bite of the pancakes as Marisa watched her from the rim of her teacup with fascination as she then took a sip of her morning tea. 

“Mmmm” 

Lyra made a happy sound as she tasted the pancakes, they tasted delicious and warm with a hint of vanilla. 

“You’ve never had pancakes before Lyra?”

Lyra swallowed her current bite of pancake in order to respond, she shook her head no. 

“They didn’t have pancakes at Jordan” 

Marisa stared intently towards Lyra as she held her teacup in her hands listening, she frowned slightly as she noticed that by Lyra living at the college she hadn’t experienced much being confined to university life and atmosphere. 

“Well, we have them here….. Here, why don’t you try those pancakes with some syrup? It goes on top of the pancakes, it makes them even more delicious” 

Marisa reached for the syrup upon the table, before tipping the container to drip on top of Lyra’s pancakes. 

Unknowingly to Marisa, through giving Lyra syrup she would be in a world of chaos later. 

Lyra tucked into her breakfast with a smile, while Marisa joined her in eating. They made small conversation here and there, Lyra mainly asking Marisa various and numerous questions about herself. It seemed that the girl had so many questions she was beginning to wear out Marisa however Marisa found she hadn’t minded wishing to just hear her daughter talk and talk getting to know her. 

Lyra wished to get to know Marisa, having questions prepared in her mind on what to ask her. Simple innocent questions such as favorite color, what she did for work, her favorite food. Lyra asked the questions with excitement as the more time went on and as she ate and finished her pancakes she became restless sitting down at the dining table. 

Once Lyra finished her pancakes she was eyeing the floor and the rest of the flat wishing to leave the table, Lyra shifted her plate forward to signify she was finished.

Marisa only noticed when Lyra started to struggle to pull her chair out in order to get up, the golden monkey eyeing Pan who was now on the floor ready to take off waiting for Lyra. 

Lyra was leaning her face on the edge of the chair dramatically looking away towards her bedroom wanting to go. 

“Lyra, aren’t you going to eat your fruit?” 

Marisa gently moved Lyra’s plate back towards the girl, who was avoiding looking at the plate and Marisa expressing her want to leave and displeasure. 

Lyra shook her head in disagreement with a pout upon her face, not knowing what the fruit was. Lyra had been limited to certain dishes being served at Jordan for the time she had been there, so her palette and experience with certain foods were foreign. 

Lyra like any other child was not open or excited about trying new foods, she continued to pout as Marisa looked towards her intently surprised as Lyra continued to pout loosely crossing her arms and closing herself off. 

Marisa’s mask then slipped from her face as the golden monkey stalked towards Pan under the table in a threatening and scolding manner. Lyra looked towards Marisa noticing the golden monkey and the uneasiness of the new situation, a glimmer of fear reached the corner of Lyra’s eyes in which Marisa had to suppress herself from lashing out too harshly. 

Marisa then took a moment before changing her mindset and her tactics in order to get Lyra to eat her fruit. 

“The fruit tastes quite good, I promise” 

Marisa smiled towards Lyra, as she then took Lyra’s fork and picked up a piece of strawberry on the fork holding towards Lyra hoping the girl would try it with encouragement. 

Lyra then looked into her mother’s eyes with an emotion Marisa could not distinguish nor recognize as her expression shifted. 

The little girl simply smiled warmly with love within her eyes before taking the fork from her hand brushing her hand with her mother’s briefly.

“Ok”

Marisa sighed in relief and suspense as Lyra tasted and ate the fruit finding she rather enjoyed the fruit and the sweet taste that followed eating some. 

Soon they had finished their breakfast in which Marisa glanced towards the clock upon the wall noticing the time she quickly put down her teacup as Lyra finished all her fruit with a smile upon her face. 

“Oh dear, we have much to do today. Come along Lyra” 

Marisa then got up from the table having the head butler appear hearing Marisa announce they were finished. 

“Where are we going?” 

Lyra asked, curious, and excited filled with growing energy from her breakfast. 

Marisa glanced at Lyra who was getting off her chair trying to follow Marisa, the head butler pulled her chair out for her allowing Lyra to get down. 

“Well, first we have to run some errands, and then we are meeting with a friend of mine Mrs. Davis for lunch which is very important. Come along” 

Marisa gestured for Lyra to join her in exiting the dining room to go get Lyra dressed and ready for their day out on London filled with errands. 

Lyra smiled wide, excited to spend time at all with her mother before running off towards her bedroom at a speeding pace causing Marisa’s mind to spiral on how she would be able to control her five-year-old daughter meanwhile conducting magisterium meetings and business. The day was going to be interesting indeed.

“If I may speak freely ma’am….in future, I will alert the staff to cut up little miss Lyra’s food so you don’t have to”

Marisa within her still swirling thoughts clutched her head, feeling an upcoming headache approaching, as she heard her head butler’s words stopping herself. 

“No...it’s quite alright Niles. I tend to prefer to do that myself for her actually”

Niles then bowed his head in respect before the other staff entered to clear away the dishes from the dining room.

Marisa started off towards the direction her daughter ran off in with a soft expression upon her face before she picked up the pace to chase after her and corral the young girl into a dress for their day out in London.   



End file.
